Princess and the P-Reg: The song that won a million hearts

Dear J

You were wondering about the song that won the caravan competition.

The history is this. Back in June 2008 I was reworking a novel; it was a very intense period. You know better than most that, faced with an intense period of work, I will apply myself doggedly to doing absolutely anything else.

After spending a leisurely Saturday morning with Jols seeking out all the theme tunes to kids’ TV shows from the 1970s and 80s on YouTube, I set about creating an electro pop opera in Garageband. I’d been listening to how Tim De Laughter of the Polyphonic Spree put his operatic pop together, and so I used that as a fulcrum to create The Adventures of Snoffler and the Wobbledog: a popera lasting about six minutes.

Jols locked this piece of information away in her little stove of ideas.

When White Stuff launched a competition to win a caravan by writing a limerick (‘or a rap or something’), Jols leapt on the opportunity. She spent the next several weeks reminding me that we ‘needed’ to get right on down to rewriting the lyrics of ’Are You The Wobbledog’ – a Tribe Called Quest-tinged rap from my popera.

I kept forgetting, for some reason.

So, cutting to the chase, we spent two sessions of several hours each writing new lyrics. Unlike myself, Jols is a stickler for standards – she really is excellent at this. I, faced with an intense period of work, will apply myself doggedly to doing absolutely anything else.

It was at this stage that I got my novel rewrites done.

So anyway, I sped the existing music up; cut it down to around a minute or so; and we rewrote and rewrote and rewrote the lyrics until Jols deemed every word a winner. I can’t remember who wrote what, but ‘ladythrone’ and ‘sassy little chassis’ are definite Jollisms, whereas ‘big end’ and ‘vehicular’ and general rhythmic choices tended to be mine.

Then I spent an hour or so recording the vocals, with old George Martin burying her head in a pillow for every take to stop herself giggling at my mockney accent.

Take after take after take was required to make the ‘car’ character ‘sound grateful enough’ at the end of the song. But we got there in the end, and popped an email off to White Stuff.

The rest, as they say, is a mystery.

your pal

jx

PS: I’ve also just made a video for the song. This wasn’t used to try and twist White Stuff’s arm, but if I’d known I could have submitted this, I would have done! Click here.